The Navy found they had too many officers and non com's and decided to
offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who
volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured
in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer got
to choose what those two points would be.
 
The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top
of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and
walked out with a bonus of $72,000.
 
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be
measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked
out with $96,000.
 
The third one was a non commissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who,
when asked where he would like to be measured replied, 'From the tip
of my weenie to my testicles.' It was suggested by the pension man
that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks
the previous two officers had received. But the old Chief insisted and
they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken
by a medical officer. The medical officer arrived and instructed the
Chief to 'drop 'em,' which he did. The medical officer placed the tape
measure on the tip of the Chief's weenie and began to work back. Dear
Lord!' he suddenly exclaimed, 'Where are your testicles?'
The old Chief calmly replied, ' Vietnam '
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